Speaker challenges Chamber to lead with love

Arthur C. Brooks, a social scientist, economist, and author, was the speaker at the 2022 Wichita Regional Chamber of Commerce’s annual meeting. Brooks’ appearance was made possible by the Wichita Educational Foundation and presenting sponsor INTRUST Bank.

Brooks is the author of New York Times best seller “From Strength to Strength” and national best sellers “Love Your Enemies” and “The Conservative Heart.” Brooks teaches

Brooks is currently the William Henry Bloomberg Professor of the Practice of Public Leadership at the Harvard Kennedy School and Professor of Management Practice at the Harvard Business School. He is a columnist for The Atlantic and host of the podcast “How to Build a Happy Life with Arthur Brooks.”

Brooks said he first began to see the culture of polarization in America in 2014. He read an article about motive attribution syndrome, which is a fancy way of saying that when two people are in conflict, they assume that they love and the person who disagrees with them hates.

In that article, the author measured motive attribution syndrome between the Israelis and Palestinians in the Middle East, and then measured motive attribution syndrome between Democrats and Republicans in the United States. The findings demonstrated that the parties in both situations were hopelessly deadlocked due to the assumption that they loved and their opposition hated.

Leaders must understand the root of the problem. People assume that the personalities on social media and television who are yelling the loudest are angry. Brooks disagrees.

“Anger is a hot emotion,” Brooks said. “Anger says, ‘I care what you think.’ Disgust is a cold emotion. Disgust says, ‘Here’s a pathogen that will hurt you, so you need to protect yourself.’ When you mix these two emotions together, it’s contempt.”

Most of us are not even conscious of practicing contempt. We make sarcastic comments, roll our eyes, heave long sighs. All are signs of contempt.

“We act like we hate each other in America,” Brooks said. “Really, we have bad communication habits. If you want to persuade someone, you can’t do it with hatred. You have to do it with love. Real moral courage is standing up to those with whom you agree on behalf of those with whom you disagree.”

America is a country based on competition – free enterprise, democracy. It’s all based on competition.

“Free enterprise is our gift to the world,” Brooks said. “The competition of ideas is good. We need to disagree … better.”

Brooks reviewed clips of himself on YouTube to see how he did in avoiding practicing contempt and found that he often rolled his eyes when he disagreed with something someone else said. To break the habit, he began monitoring himself for signs of contempt and stopped to think before he reacted.

“What should you do when you feel contempt?” Brooks asked. “You can find it in St. Matthew. Love your enemies.”

Brooks challenged Chamber members to complete three pieces of homework because others will follow.

First, turn off the people who want you to hate – social media, pundits, cable news, media.

Second, go find contempt, and go running toward it. You have the tools to neutralize it. Think of it as missionary work. Bring light to the darkness. There’s a lot of rejection and a lot of joy in missionary work.

“You need to get out more if you don’t know anyone who thinks differently thank you,” Brooks said.

Third, practice gratitude.

“We need to be grateful for this country,” Brooks said. “People are fighting to get in. We all can and should love each other.”

Brooks closed with an invitation to join him in the mission field.

“Treat every interaction as a missionary action,” he said. “We together are entering the mission field.”